Throughout human history, there have been some quite noble
efforts for sustaining the Earth. Many great innovations have resulted from
mankind’s attempts at preserving our environment. Then again, there have been
some real doozies too. Today we’re going to have a look at ten of the zaniest
ideas ever devised for improving the environment.
- There
is a proposal before the United Nations for environmental
justice, in order to save the planet. Said
justice calls for legal representation on behalf of the environment –
plants, animals, insects – against us pesky humans, with the power to seek
financial compensation for damages.
- This
one is a bit of a touchy subject. Though the thought is in the right
place, the evidence seems to suggest that the concept wasn’t entirely
thought through. The push to replace incandescent light bulbs
with CFL’s (compact fluorescent lamps) would indeed conserve energy.
However, they contain significant
levels of mercury which, without any safe means of recycling
them, would introduce unsafe levels of mercury back into the environment.
- In an
effort to safeguard the sanctuary of indigent marine wildlife, the city of
San Diego is set to enact laws that would ban birthday parties at
local parks within the vicinity of said wildlife.
- As a
means to harness human energy and transform it into useable energy, the
concept of the human-powered
floating gym came into being. Imagine, if you will, dozens of
sweaty fitness-minded bodies, powering their way upstream in a bubble, and
you’ve got a vague idea of what this truly wacky project is all about.
- Here’s
another idea that someone pulled out of their, um … notebook: The basic
premise is that the methane produced through cow flatulence is a major
contributor to greenhouse gases (14%) and needs to be stopped. The answer? Kangaroo
farts. Apparently their marsupial mates are methane-free down under,
and possess a bacterium that it is suggested to be injected into cattle.
- Based
on the cooling effect that the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo had on the planet
20 years ago, scientists had the brainstorm idea of triggering
other volcanoes in the hopes of having similar results. We can
only hope that our tax dollars don’t literally go up in (volcanic) smoke,
and ash.
- The Eco-Kettle is supposedly the
answer to a question we have no idea why anyone would even ask: namely,
sparing our precious globe from the bane of our existence known as (wait
for it) boiling too much water (gasp!).
- Asus
came up with this gem a while back as a solution to excessive use of
plastics in consumer product manufacturing: the bamboo
laptop. We would love to have seen this sold as part of an office
starter package, with a tiki torch desk lamp and margarita mixer.
- Pig
pee for plastics. The idea here is to reduce the use of petroleum in
the manufacture of plastic plates. The urea in pig urine would act as a
bulking agent in its place. Trouble is (among other things -ugh!) is that
when these pig-pee plates are discarded? You guessed it, they will emit
methane. Maybe we first need to cross-breed these pigs with kangaroos.
Yeah, that’s the ticket: pigaroo plates.
- And
finally, a supremely sage environmental observation by none other than the
Wizard of Wit himself, former Vice-President of the United States of
America, Dan Quayle:
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
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